When you bring your pet home for the first time, you don’t imagine all the things that could go wrong. Having and loving a pet is such an incredible gift but what happens when the pet you love so dearly is also the source of your biggest stress and anxiety?
When I got my soul dog, Ham, I knew health concerns and bad days would happen. However, I didn’t expect to have weeks after weeks of vet appointments, medications, and incredibly frustrating moments where I felt like I was failing him as an owner. Within a month, my dog was diagnosed with ringworm, allergies, interdigital cysts, an unruly ear infection, and decided to earn an overnight stay at the ER Hospital after eating a pound of baking flour. Yup.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure the best care and life for my dog. But there is a big financial and emotional cost to pay with that, and it isn’t something we talk about regularly. Between trying to manage his allergy symptoms, keep him out of mischief, and resocialize him after being cut off from society with his yucky fungal infection, the frustration and exhaustion was starting to build up.
Caregiver burnout with your pets is real. Our simple days of playing and going for walks turned into bi-weekly baths, foot soaks, ointments, and multiple medications every day to only have 2 weeks of peace before another flare up or other health concern popped up.
My frustrations started to turn into guilt and shame as I was reaching my limit with all the vet bills, a countertop full of medication bottles, and deeply wanting my healthy, stress-free dog back. I put off the things I needed to do more for my own mental and emotional well-being, which as a by-product, affected both of us.
By figuring out how to live life with a dog who is sensitive to the world, I’ve been able to gather some tips on how to make sure I keep myself out of caregiver burnout, and maybe they’ll help you too.
1.Find a vet (or specialist) you can trust because you will see them more than expected.
It is so incredibly important to find a veterinarian who will listen to your concerns AND understand what goals are realistic for you and your dog. You should feel comfortable advocating for your pet’s well-being and ensure that you feel comfortable with the treatment plan that your pet needs. Once I found a veterinarian that would listen to me and I trusted, the process became a lot easier. Being able to have honest conversations and realistic expectations (that also fit my budget) is key to finding a happy balance between managing health issues and continuing to live your life.
2. Take time to just be with your pet
I became obsessive about my dog’s health, and it only made the stress, anxiety, and frustration worse. Take time to play, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. Enjoy the walks and watch your dog be a dog. Watch your cat sunbathe in their window bed. Laugh when they do something silly and ridiculous. Different health conditions bring different challenges but remember to take the time to enjoy having your pet by your side or watching them play in the backyard. For example, I made a nightly routine with my dog and that time was the only time I would go over his paws and skin. The rest of the time, I let him be, and let myself think about other things.
3. Self-care is REAL
Just like with our human relationships, it is important to make time to take care of yourself so you can provide the best care for your pet. My ability to keep up with my dog’s at-home care has been significantly easier when I made time to go to the gym, eat good food, and set time aside to focus on myself and not just his care.
It is important to make time for things besides caring for your pet. Make time for friends or family, go to a new cafe, or invest time in a hobby. At first, I felt like a bad dog owner when I opted to do something for myself and not him, or both of us, but when you spend a lot of your time worrying or caring for your dog, it is a necessity. It makes the things outside of our control easier to deal with. As soon as I made more time to do the things I needed to do for my own well-being, my patience and ability to provide the care my dog needed became easier.
4. Consider pet insurance
Pet insurance can help make expensive and difficult situations considerably easier, especially in unexpected or ongoing health issues. Researching your pets breed beforehand to be prepared for potential health issues, as well as being prepared for the unexpected can help take away some of the financial stress that can be associated with your pet’s healthcare. A separate savings account or emergency fund can also make a significant difference when it comes to your pet’s vet care. This is something I wish I had set up sooner and am also grateful I have for some of the more unexpected things that have come along the way.
5. A Solution doesn’t need to be perfect
We should always strive to provide the best care for our pets. Financial constraint, age, and general lifestyle can all impact the decisions that you make when discussing what steps to take with your vet. Sometimes our expectations need to be readjusted as situations develop as we consider the quality of life for our pets. While my dog’s paws don’t LOOK perfect, he can still go out for walks and play in the river with his ball. As long as my dog is still his smiley, tail-chasing, weirdo self, that is okay.
Feeling frustrated and upset is completely normal when things aren’t going how you expected or hoped with your pet. Having a pet is a luxury and can add to our quality of life, but sometimes, it becomes more stressful than anticipated. It doesn’t make you less of a pet owner, but it is important that we take care of ourselves to provide the best care for our pets.